Pregnancy Complications:  Robyn and Jonathan

Sitting and looking around the SANDS (Stillborn and Neo-natal Death Support) group, I was struck by the similarities we shared. Not only did most of them look like Jonathan and myself – ordinary, rational, thirty-somethings – but our stories held the same themes. The losses of our newborn children were for many different causes, but the experiences of denial, desperate hope, and shock are the same.

Our own story began when I lay on the table for our twenty-week anatomy scan. The junior sonographer looked anxious. “It all looks great,” is the only comment a first time mother wants and expects to hear, not the questions that did come, “did you have a nuchal scan? Have you had an amniocentesis?” She left and fifteen minutes later she and her supervisor rejoined me in the room. The supervisor too looked anxious, and again the questions came as to whether I’d had my baby screened for chromosomal abnormalities.

This little baby had been a long time in the making, with six years of trying to conceive on our own, various invasive tests, including a laparoscopy, and finally the stress of fertility treatment. “It all looks great,” was all we wanted to hear. Jonathan had been out of town but flew home that day to an ashen wife. The next week we went together to the obstetrician at the hospital. “These measurements can’t be right,” she said looking at the results of the ultrasound. “They make no sense. We’ll rescan you.” “And what would they mean if they were correct?” I asked. “Well I’m sure they’re not, but measurements like this would indicate a chromosomal abnormality – like Trisomny 13”

Ignoring Jonathan’s wise plea not to do an internet search I foolishly looked up this cruel condition. “Please let it not be that,” we prayed. We were rescanned; the results were the same. The measurements had been correct. We had an amniocentesis. For the next five days Jonathan answered every phone call – he didn’t want me to be the one to hear bad news. The phone call finally came, our joy was unbounded - the chromosomes were normal! We were out of the woods, or so we thought.

But he still would not grow. After five weeks of bedrest I was put in hospital. We aimed to get our baby to a viable weight, so he could be delivered and cared for in the NICU unit. Blood tests were taken from me twice a day to check my blood’s ability to clot. I had pains all through my abdomen and trouble breathing, especially at night. At last I began to exhibit the classic symptoms of preeclampsia: protein leaking into the urine, high blood pressure. I was under a lot of pressure to deliver before I became too ill. “Come on little guy, I’ll hang in there if you will.”

At the end of three weeks in hospital the verdict came, my blood’s ability to clot was now in the danger zone, and our dear son Toby would never reach a viable weight. The blood supply to his placenta was just too inefficient. It was time to say goodbye and send him home.

He came without fuss and eight hours of labour. Tiny and complete with blonde hair like his dad and a big nose like his mum. We have his birth certificate and his own tiny grave in a plot for newborns. With each new grave and each new family at our SANDS group we remember that this pain is rare but not singular. The experience of birth: life’s great joy marred by death, life’s great pain, makes us feel wiser. Sadder. Changed.

The SCOPE study aims to develop a simple test that will help to identify first-time mothers at risk of developing serious pregnancy complications. This will help to prevent similar tragedies occurring in the future.

To read about the SCOPE study please click here

After the tragic loss of their first son Toby, Robyn and Jonathan bravely continued their fertility treatment and became pregnant again in May 2006.  Robyn's pregnancy was monitored carefully and she was given daily injections of clexane and aspirin until two weeks prior to her due date.  At 36 weeks Robyn was told she had "a perfectly healthy baby" and was induced just before her due date.  Arwen Sophia was born on January 19 2007.  She looks just like her little brother Toby, and has a sweet nature.  Both her parents are understandably still a little bit in disbelief.